Tuesdays with Morrie

The film Tuesdays with Morrie is a film based on the book by Mitch Albom.  Mitch is a successful sports columnist, but unsatisfied with life.  Mitch sees his college professor and mentor on Nightline where he learns his mentor is dying of ALS. He is regretful and feels guilty he has not kept his promise to stay in touch with Morrie. Mitch is prompted to call Morrie and rekindle the relationship after sixteen years. The rekindled relationship turns into a class on how to live life. Few movies are better than the book, but, this is one of the rare times the film out rates the novel. There are numerous quotes themes and lessons to be drawn from the film.  The themes covered in the lessons Morrie has to share are communication, love, and acceptance.  A line in the movie that is particularly striking to me is “dying is just one of thing to be sad about. Living unhappy is another matter.  This quote raises the question and provides the viewer with an opportunity to evaluate their life and determine what area of their live may be bringing them unhappiness and take action to make a positive change. We are given just one life and it is ours to create and shape in any way that brings happiness and peace to self and others. Morrie also says “Fear of getting old reflects lives that haven’t found meaning”.  What a true statement because it is common to fear what you don’t have. If you have a life full of meaning than you can view death as just passing from one phase to the next, but if you haven’t achieved meaning to life then it is normal to fear death and want to halt the next phase because we haven’t yet achieved meaning. Have you yet found meaning to life? Victor Frankl’s Meaning Triangle shares that meaning to life is accomplished through creativity, experience and attitude.  

Tuesdays with Morrie is a premier opportunity to explore life through death. The film also provides a tremendous opportunity for teaching and further discussion.  Talking points with my point of view are below.  Response are welcome to stimulate further conversation.

1.       In the beginning of the movie, what made it difficult for Mitch to call Morrie? Mitch believes it is too late to visit Morrie because he hasn’t kept in touch with him. He also feels guilty.

2.       Morrie told Mitch he felt lucky why? Morrie feels lucky to be able to spend this time with Mitch.

3.       Why did Morrie want to have a funeral while he was still alive? He wanted to be able to hear the nice things that were said about him. Would you want to have a funeral why you were still alive why or why no t. Yes, I would have a funeral while I was still alive because I want to participate in both my life and my death. It would feel very rewarding to participate in both life and death.

4.       What was unhealthy about the way Morrie’s father dealt with Morrie’s mother’s death?  Morrie’s father wouldn’t allow for Morrie to talk about his mother anymore after she died. It was unhealthy to pretend that his mom never existed.

5.       How did Mitch deal with his fears? Mitch dealt with his fears through avoidance and denial.

How did Morrie deal with his fears?  Morrie dealt with his fears by allowing time to deal with them and then putting them to bed. For example, Morrie allowed an hour every morning to think about his mourning.

6.       What did Mitch learn about life from Morrie’s death? Mitch learned how to love and how to live through Morries death.

7.       Describe how Mitch changed during the movie? Mitch changed in the movie by learning how to be loving and king. He learns to appreciate the important things in life.

8.       “ Death ends a life, not a relationship”. Describe a relationship you’re involved in, even though the other person is dead.

Speak

Speak

Valerie R. Vestal, MSN, RN

Speak is based on the novel Speak by Laurie Hause Anderson about a young girl who suffers a traumatic event and decides to become mute. The movie describes her struggles and isolation from her peers. I choose to watch the movie to be able to use it as a teaching tool for patients who have been victimized and sexually assaulted. The movie provides an opportunity to investigate hidden meaning and   symbolism.  One of my favorite examples of the use of symbolism is when Melinda says “ Why can’t people just say what they need to say? She is referring to  Hawthorne’s symbolism. What is he afraid of would they put a Scarlett letter on his chest in which S means straight forward. The story also has several significant examples of adults who are uncomfortable with other people who have opinions and speak out. The film also explores art as a tool to communicate ones thoughts and inner feelings.  The movie provides a lot of material for facilitators and health care professionals, but can be a bit slow at times.  Material is suited for a life time movie.

Discussion Questions

What is the significance of the title speak? The significance of the title” Speak” is that much of Melinda’s emotional distress is a result of her inability to speak up for herself. She finally gains some inner peace and resolution when she is able to share the incidence of the rape.

1.       Was the main character in the film raped? Yes, Melinda was raped. She struggles to get away from the senior and he doesn’t release her. He tries to persuade her to be quiet.

2.       What did Melinda want from the senior?  Melinda wanted to be included and to belong. The senior wanted to use the senior for his own pleasure, with little or no regard to her feelings.

3.       Ho w did the senior groom Melinda? The Senior groomed Melinda by flattering her. He told her “ your too beautiful to hide in the dark. He show her affection and loaded her with alcohol.

4.       What power differences do you see between the two characters?  The senior is aggressive, and Melinda is passive aggressive. Melinda demonstrated her passive aggressive by not speaking. The senior demonstrated his power through the aggression of rape.

5.       How was Melinda re-victimized after the offense? Melinda was re-victimized after the offense because all of her friends alienated themselves from her because they didn’t understand the reason she called the police.

Trees

1.       What might Melinda’s drawing of a tree look like? I imaged Melinda’s tree would be a tree in winter. In winter trees are barren and unprotected from the harshness of the weather.  Trees with out leaves are also naked. He striped her naked. Melinda initially told her teacher her tree would be firewood. Get it she asked? My thoughts on the meaning of her tree being firewood is that

2.       Melinda’s art teacher tells Melinda, if something is eating you, you have to find a way to use it. Melinda is finally painting a picture of a tree, it has a broken branch. Why is this important?  Melinda painting a picture of a tree with a broken branch is important because after she is victimized and feels like an outcast she refuses to talk. Her artwork is a way for her to express the brokenness she feels.

3.        How do Melinda’s drawings of trees change throughout the movie? What does the change of tree of the tree symbolize? Melinda’s tree initially symbolizes death. Most often trees are symbolic of life, but Melinda initially draws dead trees because she feels as if she is dying inside by hiding the details of her rape. Once she begins to open up she heals and her trees begin to demonstrate life. She regains life by opening up.

Speak

1.       Name three changes you see in Melinda’s lilfe as a result of what happened to her.

a.       Her grades dropped

b.      She lost her friends

c.       She became depressed

2.       Melinda wrote a paper about people speaking out. The consequence was that they went to jail. What might Melinda be afraid of is she spoke out. Melinda could be afraid no one would believe her. She could also be afraid people would think it was her fault.

3.       How was Melinda finally able to express herself? Melinda was finally able to express herself through art.

The Closet

1.       Melinda used the closet as her safe place at school. What might Melinda being in the closet represent? The janitor closet which Melinda hides in can be seen as a symbol of her own mind. A hiding place that she feels relatively safe in.

2.       Melinda brings the art teacher into the closet. What is she really bringing him in to? When Melinda brings the art teacher into the closet she is bringing him into her private world. She has been guarded up until this point.

3.       When Andy comes into Melinda’s closet what is he doing? When Andy comes into Melinda’s closet he is trying to intimidate her and hurt her for opening up about the rape.

4.       The light comes on in the closet as it opened by people coming to save Melinda. What happens her for her? Her peers eyes are opened to the truth and the rape

The Scarlett Letter

1. The Scarlett Letter is a story about a woman who becomes pregnant by a minister in the community whom she is not married to. She must wear a red letter A on her sweater for the rest of her life. What do you think this was like for the woman in the story? I would suspect it is humiliating.

2.How might Melinda see herself as similar to the woman in the story? Melinda could see herself as labeled like the woman in the Scarlett letter.

 

 

Challenging Anxiety

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) approximately 6.8 million adults about 3.1 percent of people 18 and older experience Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).  People with generalized anxiety are plagued with a constant state of worry and fear that can have an impact on the way they feel and behave, which can interfere with work, school, relationships, and social activities. In addition there may be serious physical implications.

The feeling of anxiety is fueled by negative, irrational or distorted thoughts. Challenging anxiety proves a way to test the truth of the negative and irrational beliefs. Questioning the reality of the anxiety promotes peace of mind. For example, my friend is mad at me that is why she hasn’t called. This thought she be challenged with, she probably is really busy know no point in jumping to conclusions (distortion). We are close if I said something wrong she would probably call.

Another example would be a client who had an argument with her neighbor and the neighbor called DSS as revenge. The client thought the case was closed. She moved to a new city and received a message from DSS stating they wanted to talk to her. I could tell she was anxious and near tears.  We first identified her anxious or fearful thought as: DSS is going to take my children away from me.

We challenged the anxiety by reviewing the following questions.

·         Do you physically abuse your children? No

·         Are your children clean and well groomed? Yes

·         Do your children attend school on regular bases? Yes

·         Is your home free and clear of organisms that may cause disease? Yes

·         Do you or anyone in your house sexually abuse your children? No

By answering these questions my client was able to see that her fear of DSS taking away her children was irrational because they had no grounds for removing the children from the home.  She was able to regain her composure and contact DSS to find out they just wanted a final interview to close the case.

An additional example would be fear of taking a test: The fearful or anxious thought is I am going to fail.

Challenge anxiety:

·         I have overcome harder tasks before

·         I am a quick learner

·         I have friends who are willing to study with me

·         I am willing to dedicate the time it takes.’

Challenge Anxiety

My anxious or fearful thought is::

Challenge it

Challenge it

Challenge it

Challenge it

Challenge it

Challenge it

Challenge it

Challenge it

 

Staying Focsed During Deployment Continued

1. 127 Hours- As an avid hiker and a person full of adventure I was siked to see this movie, even after negative reviews from others. I have to admit the reviews were correct. This is a true story about Aaron Ralston, an American climber who meets the test of survival when his arm gets trapped in a boulder while his arm gets stuck under a boulder. After waiting five days he decieds his only chance for survival is to attempt to remove his arm. In all fairness not much can be done to change up the scenario, but it feels like you are looking at a man and a rock for 127 hours.

2. New Years Eve- Once again hyped about seeing this movie because New Years Eve is my favorite holiday filled with anticipation of getting dressed up for a night on the town, yet not knowing with the New Year will bring. I was hoping for min lessons or quotes that would be use able, this comedy didn't appear to have much substance. I know it is a romantic comedy, but it even lacked humor.

3. What to Expect When You are Expecting- This comedy is patterned after the well know book, " What to Expect When You are Expecting. Uses humor to look at how couples deal with the ups and downs of love and the things that are our of ones control, no matter who much we plan.  Light and funny, worth watching.

4.Battleship-Surprise, surprise. I surprised myself sitting through this one. I wasn't expected it to be good. Our caption recommend it for one of our weekly movie nights. I wasn't anticipating a science fiction movie I wouldn't understand, but it was surprisingly good. It had characters that held my attention and I was drawn to get to know.  Many of my my experienced Navy friends are quick to point out many of the parts that are very unrealistic. For example Hallie Berry holds way to many roles for one Petite Officer and never looses her cover when she goes into the water, but over all it is a decent movie. I guess I am just happy I was able to sit through it.

5. Invisible War- A documentary about the sexual violence that occurs in the US Military. Movie was thought provoking and raised awareness about situational awareness. A powerful take away in terms of protecting self and others that wasn't emphasized in the movie is to always pay attention to situational awareness and to be particularly mindful not to put oneself in risky situations. There are always two perspectives to any situation, but I am glad to have the opportunity to see this movie and highlight some teaching points from the movie in my Sapra-L classes.

6. Men of Honor

7.Antwone Fisher

8. Something Borrowed

9. Speak

10. The Raven

11.The Tree

12. Flight

13. Country Strong

14. Hurt Locker

15. Tuesdays with Morrie

16. Peaceful Warrior

17. Prince of Tides

18. Seabisuit- Seabiscuit is an Academy Award-nominated film based on the book Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand. The story captures the life and racing career of a pint sized underrated racehorse whose surprising triumph made him a success across the nation. Seabiscuit also combines the tale of the classic vision of the American dream of overcoming obstacles to rise above the crowd. Three men, Charles Howard, Tom Smith, and Red Pollard exemplify the themes of the movie that dreams can become reality through will power, overcoming personal limitations, and drive.  Seabicuit is a perfect inspirational movie for people of all ages.

19. Definatly Maybe

20. My Own Love Song

21. The Secret

22. Forty Shades of  Blue

23. The Ultimate Sacrifice

24. Hunger Games

25. Argo

26. War Horse

27. She's Too Young is a Lifetime movie made in 2004. The film focuses on three 14- year old high school girls who fall pray to peer pressure to participate in oral sex and alcohol. Nick and older boy is very seasoned and deliberate in his motives to get naive Dawn to participate in oral sex with him. Dawn’s parents are astonished when they learn that their responsible and intelligent daughter has become sexually active. Oral herpes becomes an epidemic in the school and Dawn’s mother Trish tries to inform her community, but she becomes ostracized because other parents are in denial. The mission of the movie is to encourage teens to wait to have sex because there are both physical and emotional consequences.


28. Zero Dark Thirty

29. Remember the Titans-

30. Twist of Faith-

31. City Slickers a 1991 movie starring Billy Crystal (Mitch), uses humor to reveal powerful themes about  the simplicity of achieving peace and happiness. Mitch and two of his best friends, Phil and Ed are going through a midlife crisis and plan to go on a two week vacation at a real cattle range.  What we find out is that Crystal and his friends dissatisfaction with life is the result of not knowing “the secret to life . Curly a grizzly cowboy criticizes Crystal and all the other “City Slickers” who believe that spending two weeks on the range will help them find meaning to life. Curly holds a heartfelt conversation and ask:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly: [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.

Curly advises Mitch that when one is able to face his problems by concentrating on the "one thing" that is most important in life all other things seem trivial. Focusing on one thing provides greater success and inner peace by living in the present and staying focused. City Slickers
32. Hitch
33. Boys Don't Cry-
34. The Rape of Richard Beck- The 1985 TV movie, the Rape of Richard Beck starring Richard Creena features a macho detective who is insensitive and portrays distorted believes that the victims of rape bring this tragic act on themselves. The viewer is able to see Richard’s attitude transformed after he himself is the recipient of this horrific act of violence.
35. Motherhood
36. Something about Amelia
37. Yes Man
38.Lion King
39. Miss Evers
40. Beloved
41. Plain Truth

 

Cinema Therapy

Antwone Fisher

The movie Antwone Fisher is another opportunity to provide insight and reflection on the Human Phenomena. I have provided my responses to the following questions as viewing the movie. Please feel free to make comments in the same way you would a book discussion group.

1.What do you think the reason for the opening “ dream scene”? What does this say about Antwone’s needs? The reason for the opening dream scene is symbolic of what Antwone desires in his subconscious. This reveals his need for a family and closeness. The pancakes are symbolic that everything is going to be ok, because when his foster mom was in a good mood she made pancakes, when it was going to be a bad day she would fix eggs and grits.

2. The Navy psychiatrist, Lieutenant Commander Davenport was assigned to evaluate Antwone Fisher. What role did he play in Antwone’s life? The role of the Lieutenant Commander was to help Antwone  break down the walls he had built around himself  due to his previous abuse and feelings of abandonment.  Antwone initially presented himself as guarded in order to preserve himself from further hurt.

3. When the first meeting didn’t go well between Antwone and Lt. Commander Davenport, to whom did Antwone turn to get his needs met? Did it work? Why or why not? Antwone turned to the young lady who worked at the exchange.

4. Why do you think Antwone had a throat-clearing problem in the psychiatrist office during his third meeting?  I believe the throat clearing was symbolic of the difficulty he had with opening up to people and the emotional walls he had built around himself.

5.What happened when Antwone went back to his foster mother’s home and stood up to his demons?  The foster family was prepared to pick up where they had left off. They were in disbelief when he took his power back. The foster family was used to being in control. He was no longer the helpless child they were used to having power and control over.

6. Antwone went back to his foster families’ house in an assertive manner. What might have happened if he would have done it in an aggressive manner? If Antwone would have been aggressive then his foster mother may have not given him the name of his birth father and his purpose for making the trip may have been lost.

7. How did Antwone isolate from those he lived with? He shut those people out he lived with by burring himself in studying and reading and drawing. He chooses not to interact with those around him.

8. Why did Antwone make a big deal about his three sessions being up with Lieutenant Commander Davenport? Antwone made a big deal about his sessions being over with the LCDR because now that he has opened up and exposed his skeletons he doesn’t have the coping skills to deal with them. As a therapist or behavioral health professional it is important to remember not to open up “Pandora’s” box before the client has the coping skills to deal with the issues.

9. Because of the time Antwone spent with LCDR Davenport what was he able to accomplish?  Because of the time Antwone spent with LCDR Davenport he was able to accomplish the following:

He was able to channel his anger with positive energy. 

He was able to deal with past issues and become honest with self and others.

10. What do you think Antwone might be doing today if he had decided to stay closed up inside of himself rather than opening up to his mentor. I suspect if Antwone had not opened up to his mentor he may have found a negative way of coping such as drugs or alcohol. He would of continued to have anger issues and may of ended up in prison.

11. Do you think Antwone’s birth mother was purposefully, holding something back from him? Or did she possibly not have anything to give? Explain. When Antwone went to his mother’s house,  her personal hygiene and living arrangements were in a disarray. My intuition is that she was emotionally depleted and therefore; didn’t, have anything to give back to Antwone.  Antwone’s mother was like a bank account who is overdrawn. It was wise of Antwone to potentially recognize this and seek other individual whom are not overdrawn.

12. How did LT. Commander Davenport recommend Antwone use the energy inside of him? LT. Commander recommended Antwone channel the energy in a positive manner on things like physical exercise.

13. Do mentors have to be perfect to have something to offer? No mentors don’t have to be perfect to have something to offer. I have a variety of mentors based on the trait or skill I want to learn. It is a cognitive distortion that has the potential to cause great distress when we view people as being “ all or nothing”, all good or all bad.

14 Antwone was able to successful able to negotiate the following hurdles one step at a time, in the following order.

1.       Finding a mentor and allowing him in his life.

2.       Dealing with childhood abuse

3.       Building relationships with others

4.       Becoming honest with others

5.       Attempting to reconnect with family

6.       Living a well adjusted life

7.       Growing past others

Exploring Cinema therapy

Movies can be a powerful source of inspiration, insight, and reflection. Have you ever seen a movie that left had such an impression that you wanted to share your thoughts and reactions immediately?  Has a movie ever provided you with answers to some of the questions you have been pondering about life?

I have found it to be fun and rewarding to take a journal to the movie theater because the movie may trigger something that will be a catalyst for growth and self-discovery.

Watching a movie with conscious awareness can be an enjoyable and rewarding way to be more aware of what is going on in our personal lives.  Most recently I have selected a core group of movies to watch with a conscious awareness and analyze for the deeper meaning.  The first movie I have chosen to view and analyze would only be fitting for a Navy Officer on deployment, Men of Honor.  Men of Honor explore a variety of themes and reveal much about the human condition. The movie is based on a true story about the first African American Navy diver Carl Brashears who faces an abundance of adversities and obstacles in order to reach his goal. Tony Robbins says “in order to get better answers, you must ask better questions”. Below are a list of powerful questions that explore the positive and negative aspects of anger and how

1.       What labels did Master Chief Sunday put on Brashears? Master Chief Sunday labeled Brashears as a incapable because of his race. Brashears attempted to participate in activities such a diving that only white men have participated in before. The racial discrimination is evident.

2.       What are two negative effects of anger that you saw in the film? Two negative aspects of anger that I saw in the film were Masters Chiefs aggressive behavior that lead him to be demoted two levels of rank. As a result of his inability to use positive coping skills he turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism, which in turn had a negative impact on his judgment which further deflated his career.

3.       What were two positive effects of anger you saw in the movie? Two positive aspects of anger I saw in the movie was Carl Brasher was able to use his anger toward Master Chief Sunday to become more determined. He was able to overcome his learning impairment and pass the written exam and he was also able to put the instrument together even though his pack  was scattered in the water and it took him over nine hours.

4.       How did Master Chief Sunday’s anger affect him negatively? Master Chief’s anger affected him negatively because he was unable to control his behavior and became violent.  As a result it impacted his career.

5.       Describe two instances where someone in the film behaved in a manner suggesting they harbored unresolved anger and resentment.  It appears as if Master Chief Sunday has unresolved anger and resentment towards black people when he is dunking Carl in the water.  Master Chief Sunday references how his father was out of work and became an alcoholic because black men would work for less.  Another example of unresolved anger is when Master Chief and his wife are at the formal dinner and Master Chief has been drinking and he punched the LT who told him he could no longer dive. This is unresolved anger for the LT who ended his diving career.